Love, and more love.

2009-10-10T09:55:00.001+08:00

@hoodalove.tumblr.com
<3333333

2009-10-08T13:34:00.001+08:00

I've moveeeeeed outta this happy sad joyous depressed space!

Actually, I've moved long ago. Goodbye!

2009-09-21T16:28:00.008+08:00

And today, I felt the biggest wave of disappointment sweeping right through my veins and piercing into my heart.
Should I hate them?

Why is it that I'm never ever included into them.

Stop crying, you need to stop shedding your tears because of them.

Should I get a change of cellgroup? But if I'm leaving, I want dee to leave too. Sadly, selfishly.

2009-09-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
They always leave me out.
E500 is a screwed up cellgroup.
No hope, no love, no nothing.

2009-08-30T23:21:00.001+08:00

A peculiar comprehendable similarity to the page's title.

You're the reason why even during the saddest part of my life. I smile.
Even at confusion. I understand.
Even in betrayal. I trust.
Even in fear of pain. I love..

2009-08-30T09:52:00.002+08:00

Hello world, my life's in a quite a mess and I need to clear it up soon. I can't stand the pretense and the concretion of ill-senses in the relationships in my life anymore. I love everybody but I don't know how to love everybody. My attitude is horrid at times and I poke people when they come near me. On certain days, I succeed in maintaining a facade of joy. On other days, I fail and feel bitter. Especially to the peeeeple in e500, I know you feel like grabbing me by my neck at times. But I always feel so distant and far from you allll, that I feel so frustrated about it. Its like, I love you yet I am so far away. After my A'levels, I am secretly praying that I can befriend you all with all of my heart and maybe we can fellowship all day. You'll then see who I really am. I ought to be shot, siqi oughts to be shot. Please be happy, dear myself. Don't disappoint people who love you. & If you don't do well for A'levels, you might as well throw yourself against the wall/a moving car. Because life is as simple as it is- No paper qualifications, no life, no money, no talk.

On top of everything, I'm still thankful for my family and Ezra. Hearts.
This is a really random post.

2009-08-20T22:26:00.000+08:00

Last night saw me ending the night with Dear's call. It made me leapt 10 miles vertically and I went to bed, smiling and busking in the warmth of love.

Today, is our 1st Anniv. I'm loving this path laid ahead for us.

2009-08-08T13:31:00.000+08:00

When the stars go blue.

Talking about it is hard enough, to make myself deal with it at this point in addition to all the stress seems heartless. I have doubts, but I'm wishing I could wish it away. On better days, I try my best to forget them. Sometimes I succeed.

Sometimes, I really cannot find any reason to justify and understand why people do the things they do.
If I'm granted a leeway to own one superpower, I want to read minds.
I want to read people's minds the way Edward Cullen does it. It saves the trouble of guessing all the time, it erases insecurities and confusion. Of course it would ba a killjoy sometimes, but every now and then don't you wish you could read the minds of someone? Because I hate having to guess for answers, the tempting and teasing of the mind is not so fun.

I want to indulge myself in shopping all day long. Its the only things that can take my minds off the fuzz.

2009-08-04T00:06:00.006+08:00

my sunshine, my love

I've fallen ill. Quite ill. Not very ill. I don't feel good at all, the three days of MC might be able to help me take my mind of certain things. I'm exhausted, mentally drained. I'm tired, I hate school and I want to momentarily shut down my mind to stop it from thinking so much. It must be the withdrawal effects of the hype over the Church's 20th Anniversary. Yesterday had me rolling and crying in extreme, (i repeat) extreme excruciating pain. It was a very very bad case of gastric problem. To complicate matters, the doctor thought my skin was too yellow to be deemed normal. They're afraid I might have some liver problem. They checked my eyes, my everywhere. I hate the pain..

This is August. Three more months and its over. I can't wait! I need my life back. Last Saturday saw me having a date with my teacher. Meet-the-parent session. My teacher personified me as a sponge and that I need to have the strength bigger than the whole Pasir Ris to see me through this period. In other words, my books are beckoning hard for me.

I don't have anymore time to waste. Stop all the shopping, stop all the stoning, stop all the eating, stop all the merry-making, stop all the pranks and stop everything. Just keep studying, siqi. You need to finish this race well, no matter what it takes. Even when you're exhausted and ill, you have no excuses. Keep on going, just keep on going..

Dee, thank you for dropping by my house yesterday. You made me felt a whole lot better. After you were gone, I felt the weary sickness drowning and encroaching into every part of me again. At this juncture, its your love and understanding that matters. Even when nobody else knows, you'll always know.

2009-07-26T21:52:00.000+08:00

School had been wearing me out.
The dreary, disgusting and long timetable.
I don't know how I even managed to pull through the two weeks that just zoomed past me.

And worst of all, I have no idea why/how I even chose the JC route.
I'm still not sure if I'm cut out for this.
Guess what? The A'levels is just less than 4 months away.

Everyday, I live in fear, in constant anxiety.
This is killing me. I don't know how long more I can last.
I just want to cut myself off from the world out there.
Only D knows..

Apart from this utterly depressing and gloomy talk..

I just want to highlight my besssstest companion to the world.
He had been pulling me through every single day, securing me in his love.
Only he knows my insecurities, and he takes it all in.
And it is this insecure part of me which reveals the ugliest side of me.
No one will ever see this side of me because no one will have a heart big enough to contain.
Other than Ezra, other than E.
I've been trying to grow out of it.
I can assuredly tell you that I am already slowly growing out of it bit by bit, because people who love me deserves a better me.
I just want to give them a better me.

You've been so amazing.
I don't know how you managed to love me like it is now, but you did it.
Just the way it is now, puuuurrfect!
Like how our little bank is growing, we are growing too!
So happy together.
We pray, we pray, we pray.
We'll keep this going.

2009-07-25T00:37:00.000+08:00

Deedee's wober sweeet side.

The other day, Ezra picked me up from I forgot where and he sent me home early cause I had school the next day. It was a really short time spent.

Little did I expect more to come.
I was at home complaining and whining about school and my dread.

The kind of dread was horrid..

At 10pm, dear gave me 8 missed calls.
I thought he was going to sleep or what not.

Then I returned his call...............

No wonder I felt and smelt overwhelming luuuuurrrve.

He was right under my block!

Somebody travelled all the way back from Simei to Clarke Quay just to get me the above featured jar of Love Mix!

That jar of sweets was super pretty and cutesy!

Totally dig it.

2009-07-10T11:56:00.004+08:00

the warmest, fuzziest, lava-oooozyful, crazily luuurrved, hilarious like mad, heart-molesting, mind-blasting like blastoise the pokemon (& every flamboyant like crazy language you can think off) 18th birthdayyyyyyy!

My birthday started off with messages crashing my phone at midnight!
Elise Chua Jia Hui was the on the dot 12am person.

Okay, those are second compared to the rest of the day!

I went to school in the afternoon, and saw eveolove the nut at the school gate!
Then we had a dramatic minute- HAHAHA.
We ran towards each other and gave a big tight hug. The taxi uncles were staring like we were nuts! But I like!
Then met shirly wurly the honeypie and heehee- Pretty card and pretty present like pretty shirleeeeen.

So I acted retarded in school and repeated a thousand thankyous.
The best present from the Econs dept was the Econs make-up lecture!
Love it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

9th July marked the long-awaited day, where Ezra had been planning and making bookings secretly.
I had been hung on the suspension line for long. I had absolutely no idea what was gonna be in store on that day! Dear, you're good at creating surprises and keeping them secret!
Teehee. No wonder this love smells so awesomely heavenly pleasant.

So, he picked me up onto the cab and we blasted off!
Guess what... he brought me high up onto the mountain top at Mount Faber's Jewel Box and stuffed me into one of those cozy little cable cars and we had a good 2 hour meal inside!
We had a really exciting epicurean journey with yummy yummy food.
But I forgot to capture the moment down with the camura!
We only managed a few pictures before the night blanketed.

I cannot express enough the heartfelt mere joy and happiness I felt, with words alone.
Up till now, it still feels like a fairy tale!
I had been feeling down and drained, but yesterday really lifted me up, way up high.
If I could, I didn't want it to end..

After we finished our course of dinner, the staff there presented a cake and sang a birthday song for me! I was blushing inside out. Omgoodness.
Then, dear made me shut my eyes and took something out before me.
When he finally allowed me to flicker my eyes open, guess what was before meeeeeeee!
It was the LG PRADA 2, the sidekick I've been harping on.

For a moment, deedee made me speechless.
I was rummaging through my minds for the supposedly right words to say.
He really awed me, with everything.
Everything he gave, he gave his best.

Then blah blah blah.
You can go and picture the many many smiles on my face after that!
Or you wanna be a director and think of what happens after that. Heehee.
My tiny and overworked brains can't think so much anymore. The midyears drained them out.

Ezra sent me home and inserted into my mind the birthday conundrum: Was there any more surprises?
But I waited for a little while at home and everything remained quiet and peaceful.
So I thought, its over!

I went to wash up and when I came out of my bathroom, I smelled something really fishy.
I walked towards my room steathily, open my door and OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMGOOOOOOOOSH.
I don't know how many times I shouted that after I opened the door.
I still can't contain my excitement up till now, stop smiling to yourself siqi!

My whole bunch of friends were ambushing inside my room, waiting for me to knock.
I was greeted with a bunch of colourful balloons, teehee.
And the lights were off, before it came on after all the screams.
I saw faces which resembled Amanda, Jingying, Weena, Clara, Weijia and Darling!
It didn't ocurred to me that it was real for a split second.
I was really really really surprised!
The very shocked birthday girl then started hyper-ventilating for quite some time.

We took ugly pictures cause I was ugly in my sleepwear without any make up.
Lucky I wasn't in my pyjamas. Hehehe.
I was totally caught off-guard!
Then the irritating amanda requested for dares.
Luckily people came to my rescue. I'm gonna give it back to her when I see her boyfriend in the near future! Hahaha.

They left around 12mn.
After which, I was still in a state of shock!

When I finally settled down, I realised what great friends I have around me.
Even when I haven't met them for months, when we're all having our mid-years, when they are all in top junior colleges mugging their heads off, when we are all so tired and when we all had school the next day, they still gave me what I don't deserve.
I don't know how I can ever thank them enough for pulling me out of this pit.

Below are just a glimpse of what they did.
The picture of the balloon was uglily take because Beverley annoying me!
There were more pretty balloons.

And I want thank shirly wurly for her card.
She nearly made me tear...
When she said she was willing to be my best friend, my heart surrendered.
She was there when I lost my best friend, she heard my cries and I think she even heard the struggles in my heart even when I failed to articulate them because I couldn't being myself to.
I'm not someone who pours out easily, I'm afraid.
She knows my insecurities, when I tell her I'm ugly, she assures me like mad.
(And you skinny goh, stop saying you're ugly too. We'll grow out of this shell together okay?
We'll grow up to be confident and secured young women. )

I'm gonna spend time collating the other photos before I post them up!
Share my joy okay?

I have so much more to say.
But I'm not feeling very well.
Will blog more about it soon!

2009-07-06T11:37:00.003+08:00

Me and myself.

Why is that everytime I make a decision,
Something just have to make me crumble, make me falter..

Am I thinking a tad overboard?
Or is it that they really just refuse to integrate me.

So what am I suppose to do now..
Should I get out of this place.
Should I give up.
Should I continue masking my face with what seem to be perfectly alright smiles.

Why is that when me and elise are in some kind of shit,
She's always the one getting attended to.

This is taking a toll on me.
It shouldn't be affecting my studies, it shouldn't.

This is a very very low valley of my life.
Where the thalweg lies beneath.

2009-07-05T09:08:00.003+08:00

Faster, stronger, harder.

Yesterday marked a day of sheer intense fellowship with e500.
I really want get involved with e500 more, with everybody, with the girls.
But my studies had been pulling me back/down.
I want to spend more time with them, I don't want to be leaving early for anything.
But yet again, my studiessss. I cannot afford to be wasting any more time.

How annoying is the A'levels right.
Its depriving me of every thing.

Today, when I accidentally heard elise said something.
My heart twitched and ached.
Maybe to her, I don't exist and I ought not to.
Good ol' memories..

Nonetheless, I'll still wish and pray really harrrrrd.
That I'll be able to establish a rapport with weiting, eunice, huishan or even all the other girls.
Wait till my exams are over, then I'll be able to play as hard as I want, bake as much as I want, hang out as late as it gets and all the party fun!

They've been a part of my life for about 4 years.
They watched me grew, watched me change.
And somewhere deep inside me, will always love them.

Thank you, weiting.
Thank you, eunice.
Thank you, huishan.
Thank you, elise.
Thank you, joyce.
Thank you, jiahui.
Thank you, chloe.
Thank you, jaime.
Thank you, shihan.
Thank you, allllllll the other people like sam xiuyuan etcetera.

Basically, its all the girlies/women.
Because I'm a sexist.
Hehe.
Just kidding.

Now, no one knows the misery inside me.
No, I think Deedee understands.
I'm still waiting very patiently, taking one step at a time, to step out of my comfort zone and breakaway from all the masks and pains.

PRIDE, BE GONE.
IN THE NAME OF LOVE.

I'll be back,
faster, stronger, harder.
Just give me a bit of time.

He said-
"My dear, if you do it for Me, I'll do it for you."
If not for grace..

2009-07-04T09:18:00.004+08:00

I need a life baccck, this isn't life.

Poooof!
I think I should get back to blogging regularly.
Because it hones my writing capabilities (that's if I blog properly) coupled with the incentive that it allows me to reflect on my life (with reservations) .

This few weeks had seen me burrowing and sinking into the ravage madness of my notes.
1 and a half year of JC curriculum = vertically 100 metres worth of notes.
Look at the mess I've gotten myself into.
Sometimes, I really wonder if I should had enrolled myself into a Polytechnic instead.
I can't stand my grades now, it reflects the inabilities.
Yes so in my technical terms, the function of lousy grades- Signalling and rationing function.
Signals that I should really start studying hard, and cut down on the hours I spent on redundancies/cut those crap (rationing).

Teeheehee.
Something to be proud of!
My shopping frequencies had reduced so tremendously.
Like really tremendously. Because my wardrobe is really explodingzz.

Today's the decentralised service!
Hehe, its so urban geography.
I need to report at 1030am to serve, so I gottttta go nowww!
I have a lot more to talk about!
But till then!

2009-07-01T17:50:00.000+08:00

I want a time machine.

A time machine.

To take me back.

I want to stop existing like this.

Why.

Why.

Why must it be like that.

Why is it that I still miss her when I know I ought to stop.

God, please kill me.

2009-06-20T08:23:00.009+08:00

Its okay if they leave me out.
Its okay if they stop asking me out.
Its okay if they are not my friends.
Its okay if they click amongst themselves.
Its okay if they stop integrating me.

No one is perfect.
Not even if they are God-ordained helpers in the cg.
All these while they've been containing themselves and just themselves.
But vengeance is God's. ( ain't the Shakespearean genre vengeance )
God will deal with their inequities & infirmities.
Sometimes I wonder why they can be helpers. One has suicidal tendencies, one refuses to step out previously.
No wonder e500 is stagnating..

All that's needed of me is to start all over again, from gear 1.
I'll learn how to let my insecurities go and love out of God's capacity!!!

But who knows what will happen in the near future.
Teeheehee.

Disclaimer: Bitterness still thrives within me for God-knows-what-reason, as much as I want to let go and let livezzzzzz.

We should all be happy people.
Shut your trap, siqi.

2009-06-10T22:45:00.002+08:00

SHIRLY WURLY IS THE BESTEST BOMBZ.

Hello loves, aforeposted is a picture of me and shirly wurly darling.
That's my makeup-less face, without eyeliner you know! Teeheehee.
Only my shirly wurly love can take such awesome pictures.
I usually look ugly damn hideous in pictures, in my opinion.

Been long since I really caught up with my blog and engrave tell-tales about my life.
I'm sorry shirry, because you've been blown with so many disappointments whenever you visit this space of mine.
Haha!

Let me finely and proudly introduce the girl who had been with me, listening to my stories and providing me with the much-needed comforts.
Especially when I lost my friend, when I lost my best friend, when I lost my soulmate.
That was a crucial period, it broke me up.
I remember she wrote me a super long and sweet letter which made me cry in school.
It didn't took me long to open up to her. We've known each other for barely even 2 years.
I guess God has His perfect reason for placing her in my life.
At least when I cried everyday secretly because I misplaced Idiot Chua, I find relief deep down inside me knowing that I still have shirly wurly.

She's one special person in my whole entire life who made me open up quite substantially to her.
Perhaps other than Idiot Chua, its only her.
I'm not the one whom you know to be extraordinarily extroverted.
I can be one mad extrovert when I turn crazy in the name of fun, but never in my emotions and such.

Shirly wurly, thank you for being you and doing everything you did, which gave me have the courage to stand up again.
Perhaps, nobody knows how broken I was. Because I chose to keep the heartaches to myself.
But you actually build me up, without you yourself even knowing.
You've been an awesome piece of shitzzzzz!
Me love you deep deep as deep as the atlantic, as agressive like plate tectonics, as violent as erosional processes, as awesome as merit goods and whatever you can think of.
Teeheehee.

I'll come back to blog more about my life tomorrow ( i hope i keep my word )
I know its know thanksgiving day yet, but I badly need to give thanks to shirly wurly

2009-06-04T17:48:00.003+08:00

THIS IS ME AND MY 2ND HUSBAND.

SHE FINALLY OVERTOOK CHOCOLATE CHIP IN MY LIFE!

SHIRLEEN GOH XUE MI.

I HAVE MORE TO BLOG ABOUT TOMORROW!

REMEMBER TO DROP BY!

Shirleen is so pretty.

Big round eyes, black thick long hair.

I like.

2009-05-26T21:46:00.002+08:00

broken heart, new life.

I promised Ezra I'd stop crying over her.
I told God that I will stand up strong again.

And you know what?
Today I felt that meager little bit of strength welling up within me.
Maybe, I'm already on my road to recovery..
Maybe, I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
Its an adolescent crisis.

I will consecrate myself, to the altar once again.
I'll bear the cross.
This, I will overcome.

2009-05-24T17:26:00.002+08:00

awaiting miracles.

Within my subconscious mind, the devil keeps instilling provoking thoughts of bitterness, of resentment.
And me- with my weak spirit self, can't help but to succumb uncontrollably.
I keep praying, I keep praying.
To release myself. But I feel so weak, so helpless.
I don't really know how to help myself anymore.

I know I still love them, I know.
Deep, very deep inside me, there is still a substantial measure of love.
On the contrary, on the surface however, I appear very much nonchalant and indifferent.
My attitude is a major disaster.
I should stop being such a spoilt brat... Mommy Daddy and Deedee may be able to tolerate, but not others.

Aargh.
Today, I asked Ezra "Darling, do they hate me?"
That question was in fact a rhetorical question. Somewhere inside me, I know they don't.
But another part of me think they do.
This is complicated, I hate these warfares.

I'm digressing to happier topics!
Life had been throwing me much more lurve and joy other than that above!

My relationship with Ezra is very much growing healthily, we're opening up more and more and more.
He is very in love with me. Teehee.
He is still giving me as much as ever and he is still as cheeky, hearty and warmy as ever!
My birthday is all nicely and excitingly planned because E started early and got it ready 2 months beforehand.
Call this love!

This morning was a studying session with the classmates.
I love them. Teehee.
Shirleen is my 3rd boyfriend, chocolate chip is 2nd.

Updates end here for today!
I'm off for supper!

2009-05-18T20:27:00.005+08:00

his unconditional love for an imperfect one

I've always wondered how come Ezzzra has so much capacity for me.

His constantly always-showering love is God's most amazing gift to me.

Days when we are both really busy, he will always be the one squeezing time out to come right all the way to my void deck.

He makes me jump in surprise and awe when I receive calls from him telling me he's just less than 5 metres away from me.

He's always and forever spending and splurging on me to make sure I get the best.

Even as we're saving up together, I feel so hopeful for everything.

This must be love-oriented.

Love isn't free, it is agape.

All for the sake of love, everything will fall right into place if we walk in righteousness and light.

Thank You, God.

Dear, other than some occasional quarrels and childish fits we throw at each other, I just love you the way you are.

Without those childish fits and quarrels, we won't be growing any stronger.

It still feels like we just got together- the passion, fervor and great zeal.

I wanna keep covering this with loads of prayer, hope, faith and pixie dust!

There's so much more to what I wanna say.

But it all ends here, because... SCHOOL IS DEPRIVING ME OF MY LIFE.

LIFE NEEDS ME BACK, OR RATHER I NEED A LIFE BACK.

2009-05-17T15:36:00.005+08:00

Till date.
I've met a handful of people who had disappointed me.
Leaders who made me lost respect in them, just so because they are simply the epitome of plain hypocrisy.
Friends who don't seem to be what they should be.

Today, was when she stepped on my foot.
I was thoroughly hurt and disappointed.
She - is someone whom I used to think could help me.
But not now anymore perhaps.

/Nobody should be reading this.

Just beginning to develop a seed of disgust.
I know I shouldn't be doing this, but the seed of contempt and hurt is the root of this malignity.
I hate this.

THANK YOU DEAR, FOR YOU ARE ALWAYS HERE FORE ME.

2009-05-13T22:31:00.001+08:00

buzz buzz buzzy bee

I'M GONNA INSTALL BRACES FOR MY TEETH!
(mommy agreed to it and she's gonna help me check things out, hooyay!)

okay whatever I'm squandering my parents' money big time.
recession recession. what's recession? the family is recession proooof, there is power in confession.
it is defined by 2 consecutive quarters of negative growth.
mmmmm I smell an A for my econs! /HAHAHA /

me hopez braces will make me prettier
thats always the underlying root reason for visiting an orthodontist right.

my right foot is injured, my movements are coupled with a limp at the moment
it feels like pig's trotters with the guard on it
I hate the pain

DEEDEE, I LOVE YOU!

I've been a really really blessed girl these days.
So much that I can't even contain.
Thank you Mommy, Dad & Deedee.
Deedee's Mommy had been reeeally nice too. Teehee.

2009-05-09T00:47:00.002+08:00

heartfelt delight, derived happiness

Time check, 12:49am.
Apparently, I'm appearing really nonchalant with the (seemingly, a luxury and pleasure) but in reality an act of figure destruction and fats accumulation.
I just chomped down noodles,
my 6th banana of the day,
and the Strawberry Vanilla Heaven eyeseekereeem.
Cut the nonchalance, I'm actually feeling a little sinful. Hehe.

"I am happy" is an understated statement.
There's just much more to this in my life, I strongly believe.
Its the heartfelt delight, deeply-rooted in my heart as I count my blessings,
Its the happiness derived right from the root of my soul which I fervently covet and treasure.
This happiness, which is sparked by people whom I love and treasure.
More than happy, I'd say.

Oh yes, did I mention?
I've got a new playmate, his name is Fatfat.
He's a big brown adorable bear, and I really really love it. Hehehe.
Absolutely heart surprises!

Its 110am, my tummy is still bloated and too full for sleep.
But I'm sleepy, I think I should turn in soon!

One last thing, I love us girls.
K-day, shirleengoh and mr_moonlight.
Hoho, just a random thought sparked off by happiness.

2009-05-04T20:19:00.004+08:00

royal momma's day and love in action

Yesterday was a good family gathering at Sheraton Towers Hotel.
Twas a good meal over loads of laughters and recollections of childhood + happy times.
Absolutely luuurve my family.

Sheraton is a 5 stars hotel renowned for its excellent epicurean standards.
We had a buffet spread- had a good fight with our tummy.
There was seafood, sushi & sashimi, with the complement of many many other cuisines including Mexican, Chinese, Western and I dont know what.
The desserts served were awfully awesome. I'd die to have more of them.
The flowing chocolate fondue was whoosh!
Okay I don't wanna describe anymore.. I can go on to write a 2 page essay about the food.
It makes me salivate.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

ANYWAY AS PER DEEDEE'S REQUEST!
Ezra wants a peek into my 18th birthday wishlist. Hehehe.

BUT dear, I'm sorry I really cannot think of anything even after series of brainstorming.
Hehehe. You can bring me out to shop one day!
Then I'll take note of things which catches my eye and before you know it, your girl will have tonnes on her wish list.

My boyfriend had been the most awesome guy ever!
And he's gonna get even more awesome, I know.
No one would ever be able to comprehend how he can manage to contain so much patience within him when it comes to me.

The real me isn't such a nice and easy nut to fathom and crack. But he did it!
I'm a difficult girl, sometimes I hate myself too.
He is ever ready for me to vent and rant and I don't know what. And I always get my way.

I admire you darl, for the patience and love you shower on me all the time.
It sets me in awe, looking at how you can contain so much.
When life turns increasingly dull, you always bail me out of it.
I love how you assure me and tell me things will always turn out fine.
You always say I'm your priority, and that never fail in making me smile secretly under my blanket. Teehee.
We're going for gold, we have a lifetime ahead of us!

Relationships are such amazing creations.
They mould us, teach us, and allow us explore our identity.
Relationships are like a series of photohunt, where you keep sourcing for the unknowns and when you finally spot it, it excites you and you go through a ride of euphoria.

You've been amazing, darling.

2009-04-22T22:07:00.003+08:00

a lover's concerto, uncovering our future.

Yesterday, dear and me drew up a concensus.
We reflected on our relationship, weeded out the unhealthy superfluous elements, picked out our shortcomings and complimented the sweet nature which lies beyond these flaws.
It felt really good, it feels like we've gotten rid of the bacteria and germs.
It was just a session of throwing up, not literally.
& we commit all of these into God's hands.

On the hind side, schoolwork's been weighing a ton on me.
It is requiring more than just strength. Its the willpower, it starts from my minds.
7 more months.
Like what my Principal said, the A'levels curiculum is the worst phase of every student's life.
Once we conquer this, there's nothing we cannot conquer anymore.

Unless you've been through this rigorous battle of the intellects- the A'levels curiculum, you won't really understand the torment which lies beneath the glorious label of "Oh, I'm a JC student."

I can do this!
Go me!

2009-04-18T21:12:00.000+08:00

watch your words.

The other day, one of somebody in the cg spouted something which offended me big time.
Whatever about seeing me and my boyf sitting downstairs doing some kind of stuff.
What now? My conscience is clear, I've never done that.
My gran and parents have never allowed me to loiter downstairs with my friends.
Simply because I'm not a delinquent, not some ITE kiddos who roam around the void decks all day long.
Note the emphasis on some. I'm not over-generalising nor making sweeping statements.
Unless you do that, you shouldn't be fuming now.

I hate it when people cast this kind of unearthly and nonsense remarks on me and my loved ones.
I hate it.

2009-04-13T22:38:00.002+08:00

Into Your hands, God.

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
When I am blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray

So here I am, I commit everything into your hands.
The last lap.

Even when I'm falling and breaking
I'll hold on to You.

2009-04-10T00:19:00.003+08:00

share the joy, spread the love

AN A FOR PROJECT WORK
AN A IN MY POCKET FOR THEEE A'LEVELS
A STEP CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSITY

I can get into the university
I can I can
Because I know I can
Teehee

Having to do without a degree is like ruining your own life fullstop

2009-04-08T19:07:00.003+08:00

there's something more behind that smile

A'levels verification slip.
Will I make it?

The ambivalency of life and where it is leading me to, is killing me.
This run is so tiring...
Can I surrender?

No, I can't
You know I hate this

Because I can't bear to disappoint people who put high hopes on me, especially my parents and my gran.
This is so difficult.
Running away from its oppressive grasps doesn't seem to be such a good idea.
I know I need to keep my grip, somehow, I must do it.
Yet the irony, lies in me - not knowing how to pull myself through this disaster.

I need to cry.
I am sad...
Where're you?

2009-04-06T22:08:00.002+08:00

let go, let love

I'm thankful for God created dark chocolates
and made me love them

2009-04-05T21:56:00.002+08:00

for she loves, forever♥

Sunday's today!
Monday's tomorrow. Another week of school, term 2 week 3!
Leaving Meridian J to cleave to a new exciting life is something I'm counting down towards.

Life will always be exciting with Ezra purging the undesirables and inserting new joy pure joy just joy, into my life.
I liked it on Saturday, when Pastor Kong preached on relationship and he was right there beside me holding my hands. The hearty warmy feeling was excruciatingly good.
This love, is where the soul embraces the body. It is God-given.
Thank you, dear.

I've been angsty
I've been rude
I've been a bad girl
I've been nasty,
This weekend.

Deedee thank you for being there, always.
Please correct me with love again and again.
Don't stop.

2009-04-02T22:02:00.005+08:00

annoyingly annoyed

Darling I need you right now I need to complain I need an outlet for my unhappiness and what nots I'm annoyed by some annoying people I don't like to be force I don't like people to take my affairs into their own stride/leadership especially doing things for me before getting the nod from me myself its like forcing the nonsense out of me and I hate it and only people who are stupid dislike smart people because they need to boast about their dislike to lift up their self-esteem as a juxtaposition to make themselves feel better it is a carthartic sense of therapeutic release in an attempt to lift themselves up and I utterly despise these people even though I'm not smart because there are always people much smarter than I am and the world is full of geniuses we will never be able to fathom how their minds work fullstop

This competitive globalised spiralling economy/world only has room for the smartest bestest elite of the elites to thrive in just face this fact and get on with life because you are only 17 years old and have plenty of time to groom yourself and mould your future I will good I will be good better than you are

This essay encompasses an array of thoughts and rants from yours sincerely forever I need to say I miss you belly and elise is gonna touch down in 5 minutes tomorrow is finally friday and my mister belly is coming back for me and I'm doubly triply happy about it I feel like catching a movie with him tomorrow and I want to dine at a Jap restaurant

Fullstop

2009-04-01T20:18:00.002+08:00

Yesterday Ezra came specially down to Simei and bought loadsss of dark chocolate for me
Thank you so much dear for buying so much for me to feed me fat
You spent quite a bomb on those chocolates and an even bigger bomb on loving me
Hehehe.

Elise Chua Cai Cai is touching down back in seeegapura tomorrow!
I'm excited to see her on Friday
And I'm excited to receive all the presents she had gotten for meeeee
She had been calling me almost every day to tell me whats there whats there for me
I even feel guilty because she said almost all the presents she bought are for me HAHA

On the other hand, can we NOT HAVE STEAMBOAT ON FRIDAY.
CAN WE HAVE NICER MUCH NICER FOOD?
Or I'm considering skipping it and staying home to sleep.

2009-04-01T19:54:00.002+08:00

inclining heart, dear.

I like/hate this feeling
The absence is making me secretly adore more/love more/like more/
developing a deeper attachment/fondness/ardor/affection

I like it when we pray together in church
I like God's arrangement in giving you to me
I like how God move in our relationship

When we were strangers
When we were acquaintances
When we were friends
When we were in courtship
When we became lovers, miracles came

Planning for our future is a joy/dream come true
Bickering over funny/interesting issues is a perk

love love love love love
is such a smashing feeling.

Thank you, Lord.
For everything.

2009-03-29T19:28:00.000+08:00

20th March was Mommy's birthday!
Ezra popped by with a cake and Mommy loved the cake.
Sissy and me gave Mommy a Guess wallet.

21st March we the girls went to a restaurant @ St. James.
And celebrated Xiuyuan's and Huishan's 18th.
I slept for 2 hours and went to send Elise off to cheena.
I came home, shagged and worn out. I didn't sleep at all, I went running to perk myself up.
All because I was going to have Econs and Lit exam on Monday.
So on Monday, I wrote about a total of 9 essays.
My brain was squeezed till dryness perpetuated. Hate it.

25th March I could finally breathe after so many days of papers.
Exhausted almost 2 pens. Cool?
I was on the cab to school and the uncle was shocked when I told him I was a College Year 2 student. He said I look like a Secondary 3 kiddo. Ahaha.

26th March was Dear's cheesy day.
I baked my all-time yummy Oreo Cheesecake for him.
Deedee, my cheesecake's always in high demand and supply's low like free-flow. So you're honored!
Ezra's Mommy and sister said it was very very good. And that made me a happy girl!

27th March was the Men's Conference.
Good stuff good stuff.
Guess it made the men even more man.
Hehehe.

29th March was shopping with Mommy papa and myself.
Twas a good time out! Coupled with my harvest. Hehehe.
I don't know why they still let me buy so much when I already have so much.

Elise called me from cheena place to ask me what I want!
And she told me about the loots she had already gotten. Yay! All for me.
Then she said she's going to get my stuffs as well when she touch down in HK.
Hehehe.

Itsy bitsy hoopsie woopsie love, you don't know how much joy you've brought into my life.
The love itself is the greatest gift ever, from God.
Its, agape.

2009-03-24T18:28:00.002+08:00

shade of human triumph and misery♥

The March Block Tests had been a traumatic experience of sorts and I don't see myself looking forward to getting back the scripts anytime so soon.
Twas wasted juncture, a lost cause - of no regrets.
I promise I will work doubly hard soon.
Check yes, soon baby soon.

I'm essentially a lifeless shell now, waiting to be filled with whatever fun that's in store after tomorrow.
I need a life back.
All that's making up the backdrop of my world now is.... A'levels, you need to study.
Its encroaching into every inch of me. You decide if that's a good or a bad sign.
Now I wonder how I've ever managed to scrape together enough of a personality to exhibit such wanton guts in choosing to enter a Junior College.

STRESS ASIDE.

Mommy and Papa had been asking how I wanna celebrate my 18th this year.
Well, I don't really have much plans yet.
Untill something really creative and ingenious creeps into my brains, I don't think I'll throw a party.
Jiejie threw a huge party for her 18th and I vaguely remember my parents investing a thousand over bucks on her party!
I don't really want my parents to spend that much on mine. I'd rather they give me the money and I'll gladly save it up! Hehehe.
But that's if I can do it the hard way, that is, no shopping.

Alright, that's all.
Back to earth, back to war.

2009-03-22T20:54:00.002+08:00

school's back, blues together.

I'm depressed because the meager pathetic one week holiday just zoomed past.
No more waking up to lazy mornings.

I need a hug.
I'm scared.
I think I'm losing it.

MBT is gna be a major disaster.

2009-03-19T22:34:00.002+08:00

stress brings excessive binging on foodies.

Everyday, I spend time worrying and fearing for my studies.
I cringe at every thought of not doing well.
I cry when the fear of disappointing my parents/gramp/whoever devour every inch of faith I have.
My esteem is at its lowest, but my pride still hangs way up high.
And it is this pride, that will stem my aspirations and lift me up.
Most importantly, the God factor.

Okay to digress!
The stress which is weighing me down, is not helping me in anyway to stay fit and slim.
Boohoooooo.
I've been binging so much on unhealthy things.
And Mommy, seeing me so stressed out and all, bought even more food and tidbits for me.
Is she love or is she lurve? Teehee.
Mommy is one of my most loved figures for conversing!
I went to SMU last week and she was eagerly asking how I felt about it. I think she's even more excited than me about my UNI education.
But I'm glad that I'm such a privileged child!

Hmmmm. Lately, exercising haven't been on my to-do list.
I used to run almost every single day. But ever since college life kicked in, running became a chore; an extra dosage of tireness.
I ran till my knees were obsolete and worn out. It used to hurt so much.
I feel so fat and lard-ful without running..
But I still got a top-20 medal for my road-race though! Hehehe.
My 2.4km timing still hovers around 12minutes.
Cheers to fats and stamina!

I wanna start planning for the post A'levels party!
A motivation a motivation.

Darling, I love you!

2009-03-18T14:48:00.007+08:00

bows and summer, with love♥

Chloé's Summer Runway, 09'

I especially love this. It captured the essence of tranquility through simplicity, yet tinted with that splash of glamor.

2009-03-18T00:25:00.002+08:00

when the going gets too tough♥

Monday was the first paper for the MBT series.
Point #1- Siqi needs to read up on current affairs happening around our colourful globe.

Its the March holidays now!
But I beg to differ. It doesn't even feels like its holiday to me.
Which in fact, is the supposed feeling because it is NOT a holiday.
There's a whole vicious cycle of papers after this week. Essays and more essays and more more.
Point #2- I should be getting smarter.

I am officially giving up on a particular issue and just allow nature to take its reign.
Nature's sovereignty now. Teehee.
I've tried enough and am proud of myself for having come thus far!
People are still protecting and shielding E, they will always be guarding her interests. Even the leaders.
Point #3- Me should be strong because darling will brave me through this!

I just finished gobbling down the Scallop Deli Mommy whipped up, Pocky, Chilli Chacha Pretz, pineapple tarts, crackers and my butter roll. But my gastric still hurts!
Time check, 12:35am. And that implies: Even more fattys.
Don't worry darling, I'll still be an attractive spouse. Hehe!
Height check: 164cm/Weight check: 43.5kg
Point #4- Why on earth is the woman's metabolism rate lower than a man's? Life's unfair.

I got to talk to long-lost people like Shihan and Huifen today. Or even the little tiny chat with Wuian.
Shihan makes me miss her and her antics which always make me feel loved and included.
Maybe I shouldn't have requested to switch in the first place.
The arrangement could have been perfect.
Point #5- God's purpose for me?

Sally Tan Jiahui bought 2 packs of Pocky for me today!
I love Sally because she's always so aunty and giving.
Point #6- We've been friends for... 3 going 4 years! Including chloe too, and joyce for 7 going 8 years!

Okayzzz.
That's all I wanna say.

One last thing!
Ultra Point #7- I'm so glad I have EZRA LAUW WEN JIE by me.
Loveee you honey bunny. Muuu-ah!
Thank you for wiping the mess of my face when I cried on the bus home from church just now darling! That cry made me realise how important you were from another perspective.
Because only you'll wipe the sticky watery things off my face like that, so gently. HAHA :D

2009-03-11T20:38:00.002+08:00

me turned off by yous.

Some people just turns me off.
They speak this set of words and act sane.
And the next moment, they do another course of action and make shame.

I'm not such a privileged one in the cellgroup.
When I had a major fight with E, everyone stood by her. I practically had no one.
They went out with her, they spent time with her and all their attention was on her.
Call it a cellgroup hur.. Ever since the multiplication, it was never a cellgroup to me anymore.
E had all the support and stuffs. But I was left alone to fight for myself.
I've long accepted the fact that they will always be contained within their own clique and fend for their own people.
At least, that's what their actions had instilled into me.

Don't say I didn't take the effort to build a relationship with them.
BECAUSE I TRIED.
But they were the ones stuck in their own comfort zones.
If you say I should try to step out of my comfort zone, why not tell them they should step out of their comfort zone.
Why must I always be the one trying.. I'm not a super girl. Tireness is a word found in my dictionary as well.
It take two hands to clap.

But till this day,
I've learnt to live on the 3Ds.
Just don't get too cooped up by it and live my own life.

I'm proud that I've came this far.
Thank you darling, you're one of the most crucial factor(:

2009-03-08T20:38:00.004+08:00

eunice's masterpiece♥

Heyo Eunice!
You're really amazing! Such a good deal to have you as my CGC. Hehe.
That simple piece of wood spoke a thousand words of love, care and encouragements.
You're defining the deviant behaviour of caring for people in this selfish and unkind world.
Thank you so much for everything, I know I'm not easy to handle.
Love loads!

2009-03-08T15:54:00.004+08:00

Love's da mastermind♥

Above is my long-awaited charmy from Juicy Couture- from the states; from my sugar honey butter chocolate berryjam coated boyf!

He's the bestest of the bestests. Hehe.

Not just because he got me this... but its the taste of exceedingly-in-abundance love he always showers on me as if I was the only girl left on earth. From God, you call it.

Even when I was at my worst, he took in everything in the name of agape.

You're wonderful, honey.

I'm but just an ordinary girl, but God gave me everything of the best.

2009-03-05T23:07:00.001+08:00

inflated goodness♥

Life had been deliciously busy yet coupled with an inflated wholesome of goodness.

Mommy&Daddy got me my new phone and a new 2nd generation iPod touch.
Overdosage of love from dear.
Loads and loads of happy fun times with dear & that includes my studying time. Because as long as he is around, studying becomes everything I love!
Extra allowance.Blingbling!
New year bonus.
Wardrobe overspilling alert. Clothes anyone?
MY AUTHENTIC JUICY COUTURE CHARMY WHICH HAS YET TO REACH SINGAPORE. WHERE IS IT DARLING! THE SAILOR SHOULD BE DONE WITH HIS STOMACHACHE BY NOW.
Shopping and more shopping with ezy honey, sissy and mommy.
I love it when I don't pay for what I buy.
Me gonna get my driving license and then I'll be able to get a car as promised!
I love my family, my boyf and the 4 girlies in school.
I like to fight with shirliolis and draw on her.
I'm taking Alevels this year and going into the Uni next year!
Plannings for our future starts now♥
My boyf and I are saving up and our marginal propensity to save is really way up in the clouds. We're rich!
My picnic cravings darling.
Loadssssa food at home to fill my tummy.
Bird's nest for me to drink at home.
Waking up to sweet texts yohoo.
Being put lovingly to sleep every night wohoo.
My family is so recession-proof and I love it!
Having certain privileges.
-HAVING A MOM & A DAD WHO ARE SO FUNNILY LOVING, MAKE ME LAUGH LIKE A SILLY, AND POP INTO MY ROOM SOMETIMES TO SAY "I LOVE YOU".
(23) There's so much more to life and I'm staying excited for God to unveil them to me.

These are all that I can think of for the time being.
I'm so sure there's a truck loads more hidden somewhere in my brains.
But my brains are overloading. So it takes time for me to find things.
This is the lag time.

That's all sugars!

Disclaimer: They are in no order of preference.

2009-03-02T19:50:00.002+08:00

A lonely paper heart.

Her heart was prancing around, hoping for a reply.
But it never came..
It crushed her every glimmer of hope and expectations.
Inside, she faltered.
When it came knocking again, she felt so weak.
She had to wipe off her tears, and couple it with the fake pretense to be strong.
She hates herself for breaking down today.
Why can't she just be a little stronger?

Until Mommy came into my room and told me, "I love you".
It was not until then, I felt the courage spiralling within me, urging me to stand up again..

2009-02-07T23:58:00.002+08:00

King Solomon, makes love perfect♥

Life's a 180 degrees turn from school when the weekend hits.
Initially I told dear that it was a 360 degrees switch. But he said if its a 360 degrees, then it equates school again. Bingo hola!

I've been ill for the past few days.
It was way past horrible, the feeling.
So I was finally well enough to get out of the house yesterday.

Ezy chubby brought me to shop and we dined at Crystal Jade.
I didn't buy much but he paid for every thing!
I feel bad but it feels good to have a boyfriend who loves you so much.
Cheerios toodles love!

I'm superbly stressed out by the amount of work I got to catch up on.
It makes me feel like quiting school.
I want to cry because its gonna be the start of a new school week again.
Its bad bad stuff.

I will never be part of them, because of how much we differ in frequency.
& I've decided that I never never want to be bothered by it again.

2009-01-28T20:22:00.002+08:00

I'm wondering...
Am I cut out for this College life? Like I don't even have the brains to survive.
Its draining me of all my energy, and I think sooner or later during any phase I'll just break down and sink into some chronic fatigue/depression.
Even right now, I'm already fighting for air to survive and breathe on.

This melancholic disposition is uncovering another me.

2009-01-28T18:00:00.004+08:00

a fruitiful harvest of colourful notes and a bomb♥

So hello!
I had a whoopy whoops cooly woozie chinese new year.
I couldn't stop eating on the first day of new year at all. I just kept stuffing food into my mouth.
I wanted to stop but.... the resistance level was at its lowest.
So I fell into the sinful trap of fats & calories plus more calories.
The 2nd day was just staying at home and waiting for people to visit us. So it was even more eating!
I think my mommy and daddy are the funniest people alive.
OH YEAH, FATFAT VISITED! :D
My house has got 5 packs of ba gua. And we feel like puking just by looking at them.

Like as usual, my uncle's angbao was da bomb.
Guess how many zeros this year and what's the first digit!
Heeheehee.

But anyhow.. Mommy said the money is going into that investment account!
So when I hit don't know how old... I'm gonna be rich!
Can buy house already la.
Okay don't be so crazy.

I didn't manage to pop by Ezy's house but his mommy and grandma already gave me ang baos.
I feel quite bad about that...
Sighs!

School's making me feel depressed.

2009-01-24T22:40:00.003+08:00

a moussey nightmare♥

Today, I visited the dentist after 1 plus plus year of abstinence.
And it turned out to be a horrible nightmare, yet again!
At first, Mommy had something on in the morning so I had to be brave and go alone.
Then, I asked for my grandma to bring me there! But when both of us reached the dental clinic, Mommy was already waiting for me. Mmm, conflict of interests.
I was so very sad that I had to go alone at first.

My dentist was a long-winded and very motherly one.
The nightmare started when she finished teaching me how to brush my teeth.
I was tearing while she was working on me, and all I felt was a helluva pain and more sharp pains. I was on the verge of screaming and throwing things at her.
And rubbing in, she still had the guts to say "don't start to hate a dentist after this okay?"
After what seemed like eons, my nightmare finally ended.
AND I PAID 101 BUCKS FOR THE SUFFERING I WAS PUT UNDER.
Cheaterbugs!

And now, I'm having such a bad ache with my teeth.
I'm so hungry... but chewing makes it hurt even moreee ):

Okay, enough of the complains!

-------------------------------------------------

Today....
Mr. Fatfat bought a pair of jeans from Zara from me!
He sprang that surprise on me so unexpectedly and I didn't know how to react.
Heehee. I'm such a lucky girl to have you!
You're a creamy chocolatey sugary iced marshmallowy macarony mousse cake!
Much love love♥

2009-01-19T20:36:00.002+08:00

squabbles, quarrels, fights.

Every appointment comes with a certain degree of possible disappointment.
Where the fulfilment of hope is defeated and our plans get thwarted.
And the feeling of it's awfully bad.

I hate it.

Is everything gonna be alright?

Darling, I love you.

2009-01-18T09:51:00.002+08:00

me diseased♥

My immune system caught fire and got blown out. I'm suffering the after effects of it now.
I'm having fever, flu, cough and a bad throat.
And I'm hating this.

Sometimes I wonder how I can be so nonsense-full and hippy hoppy even when I'm sick.
Nobody saw I was sick until I told Weiting.
And she motherlyly went in search of panadol and water for me :D

I had been rejecting medicine.
Cause I cannot swallow for nuts.
Last night, I took 6 panadols! Hahaha overdose!
Yay you got cheated. 6 because I broke the pill into 6 parts before I could swallow!

Moomoomommy said if I don't take medicine, then I cannot eat all the new year goodies.
So I happily said okay then, don't eat!
Then she said "Ya right, you eat the most at home and you're telling me don't eat now?!"
My mom & dad call me a mouse.
Cause I always sneak on food at home and finish up everything secretly.
Ladeedeedum.

Wait a minute though..
I can never win the monster who sat beside me yesterday!
He ate a pail full of rice :D
Yay, lovee you!

2009-01-14T22:13:00.003+08:00

I'm such a happy girl now!
My all-time favourite Mr. Sexy Singlet man came all the way down from Bugis and accompanied me to Popular at Eastpoint to buy my foolscap and pen ink. Then, he walked me home and he went home.

Short short sweet sweet time.
A stress-relieving way.

Me gonna be steekeeey (sticky), darling.

2009-01-14T20:02:00.003+08:00

midweek blues♥

Its the 3rd day of school, I'm still alive.
But my brain is dead. I'm having a very bad migraine.
So much work to do, so little time.

Feels long since I had any quality time spent with, love.
And the feeling of missing it so much isn't great at all.
Cause its you, always you, who will give me such awesome love and time.
I miss you so much.

I feel like crying.
I hate this distress.

2009-01-13T22:17:00.002+08:00

So long, so far♥

I'm so tired...
There are so many thoughts and emotions running through my brains now.
I long for someone, something.

Let me quit and say goodbye.
The gloom is blanketting the sky.

I want a huge big teddy bear to hug to sleep.
And I need an outlet to rant and to relieve me of my distress.

I'm sorry my blog is becoming more and more depressing.
Because there is no need to act like I'm happy here.

2009-01-12T19:38:00.002+08:00

my love will take you home♥

Its gonna be alright.
We'll do this together, love.

1st day school and I'm feeling the stress coming all over me already.
I feel like crap now.
Next year when I receive my A'levels results, will I smile or will I cry?
That's something for you to find out and for me to know it myself in time to come.
Much love.

I don't know if I can hold on.
Today is 12th January..

2009-01-11T17:41:00.002+08:00

you make me strong♥

He just held me and let me cry.
The tears just flowed out freely with no restraint.
With make-up smeared all over and tears wetting all over, I felt a whole lot lighter.
My load was halved, I guess that's what loved ones can do.
They share our burden.

Thank you, darling.

He taught me to be forward-looking.
He wanted me to smile.
He is an anti-depressant.
He gives me the best.

Goodbye.

2009-01-11T10:35:00.002+08:00

merry no more♥

Do you know that I'm starting school tomorrow?
Yes, I know and I'm desperately trying to escape reality.

I'm not ready for it at all.
I'm not ready to be called a J2.
Its too heavy to carry that label.

There's this very awful and bitter feeling running through me now.
Its killing me, the anxiety and fears are drowning me.
I hope everything turns out good..

I can't wait for this year to zoom pass me.
I want to get over and be done with it in a very glorious and much love way.

A'levels is crap.

I love fatfat.

2009-01-11T01:23:00.001+08:00

I'm so stressed..
I don't know how I'm gonna make it.
But somehow, I will.

I want to pull out my brows.

Mommy!

2009-01-08T22:36:00.003+08:00

Que sera sera, whatever will be will be♥

I had a spar with Sissy just now! It was so funny. I almost died from laughing.
I wanted to kick her butt.
So I jumped and kicked, twice!
And she started retaliating so both of us ended up wreaking havoc under our humble roof.
Sissy is asking me to sign up for True Yoga with her! She's paying.
We both need to shed some kilos I think.
Our love handles are building up!

I've got a math lecture test on the very first day of school.
I feel very very sad now.

Today, I pmsed and threw some nasty temper at Ezra.
Sometimes, I really feel sorry for him. I feel so bad.
There are so much that I want to say to you. But I'm so stressed.
Wait okay, love.

I want to be cg-less.
Can I?

2009-01-07T23:32:00.002+08:00

the future's nearing♥

Okay now, 4 more days and school's gonna start.
Yet another year of hardwork and mugging.
Last year, I played throughout the year. I barely even studied..
By God's grace, I'm going up to J2.

This year, no more playing no more laughing so much in class no more stoning.
I am cringing at the thought of the need to be really serious about my schoolwork.
Siqi needs come up with an awesome timetable to allocate her time well. Lest she lets the clock tick away and waste her life on mundane useless chores.

I shall not be scared of school.
I will not be scared of school.
I must not be scared of school.

Darl, thank you for always trying to make me feel better each time I whine and complain about school. Your coaxing antics never fail!
You're really capable of inducing ezra-made endorphins into my brains.
Naturally happiness-enhancing♥

2009-01-07T10:12:00.002+08:00

calories overloaded♥

I'm gonna turn as fat as a peeeg!
Yesterday, I finished up the whole pizza with my own bare mouth, no bib no nothing. Then I ate 2 packets of chips and don't know how many breads.
In the evening, I had loads of rice.
Then at night, when darl came paying me a visit at simei, I had fried rice and a waffle.
And I came home and cooked something else to eat again.

This is what stress can do to a person.
Excessive consumption of complex carbohydrates/ Gluttony.
I am going to gorge myself with foody until I hit 50kg.

School is comingggg!

How darling howww!

2009-01-06T12:01:00.003+08:00

Fabulousoly happy♥

You're Mr. Happy, love.

In life, we really can make do without some people who do not do what they preach.
Because these people tend to make life miserable for us.
Merely fools.
Nehninininipoopoo.

Just live your own life.
With your spankingly interesting family, hottie jumpy boyfriend, funkily overloaded wardrobe, worthily lovely friends, thoroughly loaded wallet, yummy mummy food and all the whatty nottys.
Life is just megawattily awesome. It hands me fabulouso!

Cheers!

2009-01-05T00:08:00.002+08:00

all you had to do was to, say okay & smile♥

I spent this morning feeling all sloppy and groggy from the lack of sleep.
Woke up at 8:50am after phoning darl and couldn't go back to sleep anymore.
So I attempted doing some homework, but failed terribly.
The late night I had left me really tired.
I'm puzzled how Ezra even managed to pull himself out of bed for service which wt requested for him to go. That hippotamus slept at close to 5am I think. Am proud of you honey!

Went shopping with Papa, Mommy and my brother.
Shopped for barely an hour and I had to rush off for Huifen's party.
So all Mommy got for me was a pair of heels..

Huifen's bash was good!
She really got bashed in a not very nice way. Hahaha.
Nonetheless, I guess she had tonnes of fun!
Happy 18th!

Because its you, its you who will stand beside me. Always love.

2009-01-03T22:19:00.003+08:00

for love's sake♥

Today, the jar of honey bought a set of Elmo stationery for me :D

This is a lil late but still..

Darling, thank you for going through great lengths to get my pretty missy Mirabella in Pink. Guess no longer have it on their shelves! Which is awesome yay!

And for spending a bomb on it.

You are the one who will paint images of the most beautiful stories for me♥

Prettily grafted with swarovski crystals.

I love the way he loves me.

2009-01-01T02:40:00.002+08:00

all things new♥

So well.. Thanksgiving was still quite alright.
Got some "Golden Chef" award. Both the awards I've gotten over the years are all very cliche.
Telling me that I've done a lot, I've changed a lot, are perhaps all just understatements.
And maybe, I shouldn't care anymore. Yes, don't care because you don't have to.

Okay siqi, shut up and get on with your life.
You've got a bright future ahead of you.
You'll do exceptionally well for your As.
You will give your papa and mommy and everybody else you love goody good lives.
You will get into a local Uni, you will and you must.
You will pull through J2 without breaking down.
Everything's gonna be alright honey!
The power of confession. Poof!

31st December was spent with Ezy's family at a pretty big house at Bukit Timah!
It was a breakthrough, yay!
Someone wanted to film down my expressions while I was nervous and panicking. Irritating right? But I still love. Heehee.
It was a pretty last minute decision because I was contemplating like an ant on a hot pan.
Ezy's mommy invited me and I thought I should be a good girl and turn up :D
Fullstop. (Don't wanna tell you the details. But it was good. Hehe!)

Tomorrow or rather today because its already 1st January will be a family gathering!
Yay, I'm excited.
Happy birthday dearest aunt!

-----------------------------------------------------

Just some people I wanna thank..

Thank you Siyun & Jiahui.
For standing by me when I was in need and providing comfort to my soul.
That night when I cried like mad, thank you for lending me your sleeves and laughing at my stupidity. It was a night to remember!
Both of you had been such pillars to me in 2008.

Siyun your silliness never fails to crack me up!
When I feel like crying, I will always remember you.
When I feel lonely, I know you'll be there.
All the complains and grumbles we shared.. They are so mean yet special. Heehee!
I'm so proud of you for taking that fine step.
You depict amazing strength to me.

Jiahui you became of my closest friend in 2008 again, unexpectedly!
Thank you for listening to me each time I need a ear.
Its amazing how our friendship worked out again!
All the times we've spent together are always so funnily stupid and hilarious.
Stupid things always happen to us. Haha!
Thank you for your grace and company.
You're awesome.

Ezra Honey Lauw.
You're reeeeeally special.
Thank you for trying to let down your pride for me and containing all my missy tantrums.
You always give in to me, without fail.
You pamper me like your princess and give me only the best. You'll never settle for nothing less than the best when it comes to giving to me.
You're the illustration of agape.

The rest will come in the next post!
My cute brain is too tired to work any further.
Goodnight!

2008-12-30T22:22:00.002+08:00

cause you had a bad day♥

Twas a not very good day.
My bad ol' migraine came back to haunt me again, for the entire day.
I felt like banging my head against the wall.
And my tummy was throwing tantrums upside down. Then my gastric hurted.

I need to complain.
I don't like today.

2008-12-30T21:16:00.001+08:00

a reflection post♥

This year, had been a year full of transitions, spelling the need for me to adapt quickly and live on as usual.
From secondary 4 to J1, from an all-girls TKGS to the mixed MJC, from 9 points L1R5 to getting unsightly Us in my report slip, from e243 to e243a and from one to two-in-one!

So many things happened over the course of this year.
I lost some friendships, but earned new ones.

I went through some really scary hollow deep valleys, where I cried out so loudly in there but there was no replies. All I got was the echoes of my own voice and reality hit me so strong and forcefully. I realised I couldn't turn back time and all I once had was really reduced to nothingness.
Even when I recollect the past times now, I feel scared. I don't wanna relive those times again.
No one knew the turmoil inside me then I guess. I turned to nobody, nobody.
It was utterly awful.

This is the time of the year, when I feel really insecure.
Because I'm excited yet afraid of what 2009 will bring..

Pardon me if you find me behaving crankily.
I'm really scared. I wish I can hide in my blanket and not come out.

Okay, that was yet another stupid thought of mine.

All in all, thank you everybody for contributing to my life in 2008.
Love loads.

2008-12-29T14:10:00.002+08:00

Dear Elise,
It had been 3 years since you stepped into my life.
Till today, all the laughters, love, joy and nonsense we shared still rings vividly in my mind. Words alone cannot explain how much you've contributed in building and shaping me.
When I felt left out in the cellgroup, it was you who contained my agonies and provided comfort for my left out soul. You kept me in check and made sure I wasn't so left out after all.
Up till today, you still constantly try to pull me in.
Thank you so much for every effort of yours in caring for me.
I've never really had any leader constantly undertaking and guiding me unlike any of you. But I'm glad all these while, there was you.
Maybe without you, I would have backslided long long ago. Yesyes, give yourself a pat!
So many things happened between us. It was like a nightmare came true..
But we never gave up. We became from strangers to friends to best friends to antipathies and to now.
We may not apprehend one another like we used to be able to, but you'll always be the elise to me. We cannot perceive what 2009 will bring.. But please let it be good!

Much love,
missy tan♥

2008-12-28T23:43:00.002+08:00

girls' missing sanity♥

Like what my title suggests, we all went a little bonkers today!
With no absolute regards for the noise pollution we will cause, or the gallons of disturbance which we will bring about to the fellow earthly beings around us.
Its Elise Tootsie Chua Jia Hui's big fat EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY!
We had fun giving her an awesomely planned and divinely coordinated birthday bash doing all sorts of nonsense!
But wait a minute, you need to watch the video we took. Its a must-watch! It'll create an uproar of huge havoc and devastation (laughters actually) in hell, and demons will quiver and shake in fear. The biggest blockbuster video of the year 2008! Proudly presented to you by the pretty girls with the fantastic E243 DNA/Identity~

ELISE! Loving us more?

Hohoho. I'm munching on the colourful tidbits jiejie bought for me. She wants me to turn into a fatfat bonbon. But I each time I click play again and again, I cannot stop laughing at the video. All the tidbits in my mouth are gonna be puffed out. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, ELISEEEEE!

I'm developing a sore throat now cause I just consumed too much junkies.
And my blister is hurting...

Today's fellowship with Denise, Weiting, Elise, Eunice, Joyce, Siyun, Jaime, Huishan, Xiuyuan, Huifen & Shihan was a goody good one!
It reminded me of the good ol' days :D

I think I can jolly well chuck my homework into the rubbish chute already.
I am so not productive at all. Kill me!
Schooling is such a thorn in my flesh.

Once again, Happy 18th Elise!

2008-12-26T11:44:00.004+08:00

a peaceful, un-white Christmas♥

The Christmas was goody pretty awesome, albeit the quiet no-frills celebration.
A very very very peaceful and hearty one, really.
I like it.

The post-christmas mood is getting into me and I'm feeling nostalgic.
5 and a half more days to 2009. And these 5 plus days are all we have to do everything we haven't/forgot to do in 2008. To make amends for the wrong words we hurled at people, to reconcile and what nots.

I'm not so ready to welcome 2009.
Hmmm, I have no idea what it would bring, to me and my close ones.
Yet another year of big hoohas, like the thrill on rollercoasters.
I pray that we'll all still stay together.
Hur.

Rahhhh.
I need to make full use of my time desperately.

Goodbye sweets.

2008-12-24T00:15:00.002+08:00

Santa Claus is coming!♥

Today was a boring boring boring day.
Had to stay home to bake for the day!

Went to Parkway with Elise&Siyun.
Bought something for the family!
And ate rubbish food, yet again.

Then, The Happy Pill came down to Simei just to steal some glances at me!
He's so funny and everything.
Hmmm, I guess next year won't be that tough with him around to be my bomb shelter.
Muchie lovie.

------------------------------------------

I guess people just need to be more sensitive.
Using your mouth to bless people can be perhaps, a much more meaningful way to utilize it.
Life is too short for hurling those wretched words at people!

And whatever you say, you need to back it up with your actions.
I hate those big fat liars who talk this set of words and do another set of actions.
Mere stupidity.
HAHA.

2008-12-22T23:06:00.002+08:00

you know what words can do to the red pumping fist-sized thing♥

I want LG's ice-cream phone!
And I really really can't wait to get it.

There are so many things I desperately need to get for the new school year.
I resolute that once the Christmas is over, I will start rushing my homework.
Its weighing a hundred tonnes over my shoulders and I'm suffocating.
I can hardly even breathe now. (not literally)

I'm so stressed.
I want Fairy Godmama to appear now!

3 more weeks to the start of school.
3 weeks. Screams!

And I hate to see you feeling down/frown.
When I fail to cheer you up, I feel like pulling out all my hair.
you know, I already have quite little hair.
If doing the banana dance can make you smile, then lets dance together!

I want to run to neverneverland.

2008-12-22T11:35:00.004+08:00

A little feast for thy eyes♥

Do not fear, I will carry you through.

For you will find your way out.

With each notion of love, it covers each shadow of fear.

Thine forever.

2008-12-19T23:39:00.000+08:00

A mega blast- E243a's Chunk Fest & happy times!♥

Our Chunk Fest had an amazing crowd! Hip hip hooray.
Grocery shopping at Carrefour with my abled assistant/caretaker of the day/honey was heeheehee. I love it yo!
Then we went back to a cute crib and started our busy time in the kitchen, preparing great food for great people.
After much hoohas and hard work, we whipped up Potato Salad, Chocolate Tarts, and Cute Kebabs!
Three cheers for the power of love between the two hottest people :D

The atmosphere at our party was great. Once you step into the house, an impartation of joy comes straightaway. Joy of the Lord.
The best thing was, the number of friends we served and had!
I think there were more new friends than members. Awesome, you call this abundance/revival.

I really feel like I'm the most fortunate girl alive now.

Caught Twilight today!
It wasn't that great a movie. The climax of the movie was quite....

Brownie, you've been so great.
Yesterday was a fantabulous time spent preparing food. Tiring but quality time!
I'm so proud of you, for everything.
Let's see how many great things you did yesterday-
(1) You carried each and every bag of groceries. I know it was really heavy.
(2) You scrubbed the potatoes so clean, it was sheer hard work. Dirt job.
(3) You washed pots and pans.
(4) You fried eggs.
(5) You squeezed lemon juice out of lemons.
(6) You poked manymany sticks of kebabs.
(7) You made jokes to entertain me.
(8) You basically did all the not-very-nice-to-do stuffs.
(9) You made me felt really very happyhappyhappy.
Yes you did it honey! You even let me put funny stuff on your face. Ahahaha.
Thank you for tolerating with so much of my nonsense and the countless tantrums I've thrown at you.
I love you♥

School's reopening soon.
I'm very very very afraid.
I'm getting the blues.

2008-12-16T13:51:00.004+08:00

on such a king's weather♥

It thrills me to know that my vanilla choco chip cupcakes are so well-received! Hehe.
Each time I whip up an item, I love hearing what lovely comments people give me.
And because of that, I love to bless people with my ingredients and handiworks.

Yesterday, I spent a good time at Lee Kong Chian Reference library looking for geography materials.
And because I couldn't find a single convincing reason to persuade myself to go there every day to do my report, I resorted to photocopying the entire book. Close to 300 pages!
The best part is.... me & ezra did the photocopying work with our bare hands :D
I thought it was quite fun at first but I got bored and restless after a while.
Now, the lousy thing is... I need to finish reading what I photocopied and come up with an irritating book report.
500 words PER chapter!!
I rather bake 5000 cupcakes.

Yesterday was a met-up with jingying and the clique too.
I watched Bolt for the second time...
I thought I was the ultimate twit to do that.

And Siyun siyun siyun, siqi siqi siqi is superbly happy for you!

I promise God, I will love my enemies.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A change of tone to suit the change of ambience.

Hey subject.
I just wanna let you know that whatever you wanna say about me/do to me, I'll deem it as a childplay. Ahhh, so cuuutie and hilarious!
Because you're just making a fool out of whatever you thought to be oh-so-powderful.
I won't be annoyed, much less affected.
Because I really can't afford to lift any of my precious cells/bit of strength/fairy dust on such awfully funnily bimbo-ly crafted actions/words. Its so not worth.
I won't budge an inch to retaliate because your highness here so much resembles a civilised organism living on planet earth (nope, not resemble. I am one, you toot.)
Ladeedum.

KABABOOM!
I'm disappearing off to my continue slogging in my crib now.

2008-12-11T14:17:00.002+08:00

Faith, love and pixie dust♥

I wish time would stop here.
I wanna live in this holiday forever.
I don't wanna start my J2 year, cause life would turn in to a mega bore once J2 kicks in.

I absolutely love life the way it is now.
(if the undone pile of homework at the back of my mind can be removed, it would be awesome)

Christmas is drawing so near!
And I haven't prepared anything for it. There's still elise's birthday after Christmas.
Mr. Santa, I hope you fulfil my wish list this year.

I'm going to bake for a couple of people soon.
Stay tuned darlings!
Lotsa love.

Joy rides.
Ezy the happy pill had been bringing me on the greatest joy rides.
I love spending time with him because he always makes me laugh like a monster. (no, not literally)
When I do stupid things, he accomodates me.
When I beat him, he takes all the beatings.
Its everything, everything. He accepts all.
Thank you, honey♥

I'm going to the library with Elise later!
See you sweets.

2008-12-08T22:53:00.003+08:00

Before it slips off my mind...

Thank you weiting for the cutest cookie pop on planet earth!

Love yooo♥

And elise for the cutest cuppy cake on planet earth too!

2008-12-08T20:47:00.003+08:00

home's noisy and funny again♥

Mommy and Papa are back, after 3 days! Or is it 4.
The moment Mommy stepped foot into our room, she spouted something which made me and sissy laughed like mad in our roomy blankets.
I like how my parents can always crack us up with their funny words and unglam-ness.

Today, ah peng stole my happy pill away from me D:
So here I am, hiding at home, already in my pyjamas cause the weather is soooo chilly.
Come tomorrow, I'll be back to consuming my happy pill and generating joy&love.

I WANT THE PYJAMAS SETS FROM LA SENZA.
I REALLY REALLY WANT THEM.
They are utterly kewt♥♥♥

2008-12-07T23:53:00.002+08:00

life hands me fabulous♥

Mommy & Papa are out of town, leaving me and sissy all alone to our house. And we are wreaking havoc! :D Because neither of us knows how to operate that washing machine nor hand-wash clothes, there's a huge pile of clothes stacking up in laundry corner. But don't worry, my house still smells nice! Because I will never stink. People who are close to me will know I'm smelly-friendly!

Last night was a sleepover at my crib with Siyun! We had a goody good time eating and eating and stuffing ourselves with foooood. It was a miracle that I woke up so late this morning.

Today was finally a Sunday when my boyfriend didn't have to go and jammm. Hip hip hooray.
Twas a awesome time spent together talking about everything under the moonlight. I love being able to be so open and free with what I wanna say and ask. Hehe.

Christmas is drawing so near! Your sweet pill is so excited for it♥♥♥

2008-12-05T10:38:00.003+08:00

Treetop trail & the five xiangs♥

The tree top walk outing yesterday was ooooh la la.
It was tiring, gruelling, wet, fun, funny & adventurous.
We saw humongous giant forest ants, cutie pie monkeys & green green soldiers.

We walked and we walked, with GZ as our morale booster.
He is one true blue hyperactive and extraordinarily extroverted guy. SO much enthusiasm.
Because of him, we managed to live in self-delusion, thinking that we were reaching we were reaching!
So when we saw the sign telling us how many more KMs to go.... BAM!
The truth which is suppose to set us free, made us moaned and groaned instead.

Halfway through, it started pouring.
Awww.. our trekking experience was made more memorable with the rain.
We all look so cutesy in our ponchos.

At night was dinner/supper with Siyun, Derrick, Jiahui & Ezy.
It was the funniest thing man when we were trying to brainstorm for a name.
I laughed till I could laugh no more.
Its the first time laughing made me hurt like I did.
Coupled with Derr Jay chou's walk.
OMG these 2 guys are the ultimate bomb!

Anyway darl, I'm so proud of you that you actually came up with such a chinese name for us!
Heeheehee.
You're my happy pill, lets roll and start laughing now.

2008-12-01T12:53:00.002+08:00

what's left I see♥

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

And for me, my world is different now.
It will never be the same old life again.
Because we are all well aware of what had actually happened.
No matter how much we say or do, we will never be able to go back to where we were.

Each night before I go to sleep, I think of my friends.
I'm experiencing the growing-up symptoms.
I evaluate my friends and reflect on who I really wanna keep till we wed, birth and grow old.

Its a choice for me to make.
I need to overcome my own vulnerabilities.
I need to forget and let go of the past.
I need to move on and live life the way it is now.

And who knows, maybe I will need to leave this place for a better cause.
Life brings too much uncertainties along with it.
It is scarily mythical.

I want you to always be there.

2008-12-01T00:40:00.002+08:00

family's day out♥

Twas a good day spent with the entire family!
Sitting round and round around the table at high tea with yummy dimsum, talking and laughing about everything under the sun.
Its a season of joy and warmth. Chrismassy.
My uncle said the next gathering will be at Dempsey Hill :D

Went to view the condo at Katong, near Parkway.
It was pretty cosy yet spacious.

Thank God for people who are willing to stand up for me when things go wrong.
Its these people that I wanna keep dear to me♥

And I realised, it will never be the same again. Right?

2008-11-24T23:39:00.003+08:00

unseen love♥

You're always amazingly gentle and patient when it comes to me.
&each time you tell me tales of those nice things your mommy said about me, I can't help but to feel an unexplainable surge of happiness coming over me.
Never been so real before.
You make me the happiest girl possibly alive today on the planet.

White bar, Picnic, Steamboat, kbox, Mount Faber, Christmas shopping, Christmas party, Taos & overseas trip.
Siyun, Derrick, Jiahui and Ezy! Please stay tuned for the above events.
Life is going to get more exciting.
Tentatively, Steamboat will be on the 5th December, K will be on 9th December and the Christmas party will be on the 19th December.

2008-11-17T23:48:00.002+08:00

in good hands♥

Yesterday was supposed to be a day solely entirely reserved for Ezra Lauw.
But Mommy wanted me back for steamboat D:

Our cycling trip was postponed because the sky was daaarrkk.
So, we went to eat eat eat. Defeating one of the effect of cycling in the first place.
And we ate at the hawker! Its like once in a blue moon that he brings me to a hawker.
He taught me the art of eating chicken feet. At first glance, the chicken feet was gross.
We'll try more funny and weird-looking food in the future!
Went to Parkway for Scoopz. Yay, ice-cream makes me a happy girl♥
No, make it super chocolatey ice-cream makes me a happy girl.
Because the Rum&Raisin darling ate made me frown.

Then we went to town. Caught Rec.
I really wanted to run out of the theatre. It was too gore for my eyes.
EEWWWW.

Darling, thank you for always being so understanding and gentle when it comes to me.
Like you said, if only there was something stronger than "i love you"...
You're always giving me the best and making sure I'm well-taken care off.
I'm always overly well-taken care off when I'm with you.
You make me feel like...... secret!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2008-11-16T12:35:00.004+08:00

people who had been by me♥

I love each and everyone of them above. (inserts tingnut's face)
They've been so awesome all these while.
I guess I wouldn't had been able to pull through without them.
Yes, you all. The school clique, the derrick gang and darl. Plus Sissy.
(darling i stole some pictures from your blog!)

I miss Jy, Wee, Sia, Clara, Ama and Chermy.
The two melbourne kids will be back soon. Screams and claps!

My holiday is kicking start on a high note, with Asia conference next week.
Life is so much better when you have all the time in the world to just bum around and plan parties.

Like what Derrick said...
He is the CEO, I am the events manager, Jiahui is the finance manager, Siyun is the welfare manager and Ezy is his secretary(scandalous!).
Can't wait for Derr to be done and over with his exams.
We should really go on a holiday together.

Ok now, lets start with yesterday.
Mommy went to shop at ViVo without me! D:
Anyway, went to church for a little while and then I flew down to night safari to meet Mommy and the family.
While waiting for me, they had Ben&Jerry's. Yes, without me AGAIN.
Rushing down was a torture. The cab driver kept talking to me and all I wanted was to ask him to keep quiet.
The night show at the Safari was the most exciting one. Only my closer ones will know what I encountered. The tram tour was cool.
And the supper at Newton Circle was awesomely deliciously yummy!

Today!
Didn't follow the family to Sentosa. Heehee.
The sexy v-neck darling came to pick me up before his jamming.
So when he had to leave me for jamming, I went to find Jiahui since she lives so near.
Talked and walked a whole lot. Coupled with funny incidences happening along the way.
Ate and ate, laughed and laughed.
Towned with the sexy v-neck darling, ate at Din Tai Fung. Talked about everything under the sun on the train ride back!
I love talking about every little random thing with you :D

We're going cycling tomorrow morning! Triple cheers.
Its gonna be a perfect day out.

I feel super depressed for my wardrobe.
I need more clothes.
I feel super sad that after combing through almost every possible place, I still cannot find a pair of flats which I really love.
I can't find anything nice in stores anymore, online shopping has taken over my world sadly.
Ahhhhh.

One last thing to rant about.
I need to start studying.

Much love,
the happy girl.

2008-11-15T12:31:00.002+08:00

thank God for giving me the best♥

Yesterday's outing with the very nice hunny was one word, HEARTY.
Its like a breakthrough for us in a way. Yay, clap clap.
Shopped around Taka, went to catch Quantum Of Solace, Dined at Raffles' - Out of the Pan.
And we talked about like many many things. Laughed, frowned, smiled, tickled.
You're so meticulous and so daddy-ish.
Absolutely the best! I love you!

&
The people God has placed closed to my heart are all top notch.
An awesome bunch.

My Mommy is going a little overboard with her purchases on Bio-essence products.
She bought ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT of facial mask.
She got the new Tanaka White series too.
The Pollen series ones are yet to be sent here.
And yada yada.

Tonight, I'll be visiting the night safari with all the members of my cute family!
Tomorrow, we'll be having a day out at Sentosa. Underwater world, here I come!

Come monday, will be our day out. (Do not disturb ok)
Tuesday, I'll meeting Clara, Jo & Jan. Finally, after what seems like eons.
Wednesday to Sunday will be Asia Conference. Usher Usher Usher.

Today, Mommy gave me much more than usual for my allowance.
If she were to give me this much every other day...
My monthly allowance will be enough for 4 iPod classic.
Yes, I'm visualizing big!

I love life.
I love holidays.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2008-11-13T23:31:00.003+08:00

if you're happy and you know♥

And Siqi
She's so fashionably inclined lah
Her eyes are so sharp
when she pick clothes ah
is like asking a fashion consultant

HAHA
You put them together ah
is like having ur very own fashion crew!

The above was adapted from Max's.

Max is so generous with his words! Hahaha.
I hope his concert was good♥

Tomorrow is friday!
I'm going to school in the early morning for Literature lecture.
Then meeting Derrick & the gang in town!
Yay.

Goodbye love.

2008-11-12T22:47:00.002+08:00

a happy hour♥

& poof! You're back to your chalet again.
It was a happy ONE hour spent!
For picking me up after BS and sending me home :D

Yay, there's Strawberry Shortcake Swissroll in the refrigerator.
I feel like finishing up the whole thing.
But I think Mommy will give me a lecture when I wake up in the morning.
I always finish up all the food at home. Believe it, or not!
Trust me.

I totally skipped school for 2 days and finally went to school happily today.
Now, I'm contemplating if I should go tomorrow..

Anyway Jiahui, you know I love you!♥

2008-11-11T19:18:00.001+08:00

But why is it always when I need some company that you have things on! D:
And why are you always so busy.
Okay, Denise said I must be more understanding. Growls*
Where are you, worm?
I hate this.

I'm so sick now.
Off to bed.

2008-11-11T09:09:00.004+08:00

a joy ride♥

I totally cannot stand how some people are adapting the way I'm posting and using the words I'm using.
For your honour's sake, have some originality! :D

Siyun, I know exactly how you feel. And I can totally empathize with it.
You ought to be glad that how their kind of human nature had been depicted to you already.
Human have a kaleidoscope of vast personalities.
And you, you have seen which one they belong to.
Our opinions may differ but be glad that you're exposed.
The exposure means you can now protect yourself and you know who are really your friends.
You've grown so much, so strong.
We have so many more things to do together, so don't look back! Just keep walking.
You'll make it, mark my words♥♥

Oh alright, its winter!
Its time for fur coats and thick woollen stockings.

I really really really really really can't wait for Christmas!
All hyped up.

2008-11-05T10:39:00.007+08:00

Kelsey♥

I utterly adore how life is for me right now.
The perfect timing for everything.
Its falling right into place, very graciously.

Very dearly, I love all those who had been and will always be, by me all these while.
I want to keep them by my side for life♥♥♥

And those who had been secretly cursing me behind my back, just you wait and see.
I don't like hypos. They are scarily unfathomable and I don't wanna make friends with them.
Because they dirty my linen.
Okay, sorry.
God said I should love everybody as myself. I will do it, I must!

You give me such awful names despite my distance from you.
That really depicts how you're like.
But I won't take it to heart, because my conscience is clear like Cinderella's glass shoes and Snow White's glass coffin.

Anyhow.
I lost my cute little lohan/da chang jing ezlink card D:
That calls for me to hurry down to Pasir Ris to make a new one.
Adult fares are so.... disgusting.

I've been eating substantially much these days.
And I am the world's biggest procrastinator when it comes to working out.
Used to love running. But the love died off recently :D

2008-11-04T22:17:00.005+08:00

watch your words, especially when you curse cute people♥

Much love,
Suzz.

2008-11-04T16:13:00.013+08:00

OP had just ended, today.

Those are my PW mates. We've slogged so hard together just for this day to come.

Its been a year, a year-long project.

Taxing on the body, mind and soul.

My job as a group leader wouldn't have been so awesome without them.

Girlpower!

I love 08A201.

Life is almost perfect now.

With my superbly sweet hunny bun and all my nice fun darling friends.

And my cute noisy family!

I need/must stock up my wardrobe real soon.

Sisssssy! Please bring me out shopping with you soon♥

I want want want to shop with you at cool places. So you can pay for everything too.

I know you love me too much, too much!

I want forever.

I want all my friends to be happy.

I want the classic iPod.

I want to learn how to bake more marvellous stuffs.

I want to take up piano/keyboard.

I want the pretty trench coat.

I want the diamond hoodie.

I want the Guess Mirabella watch in pink.

I want a strawberry farm.

I want to eat all the food I want to eat.

I want to play with barbie.

I want a picnic.

I want to work.

I want to study.

I want to relive the sec 4 days.

I want ama and chermo to be back soon.

I want to go shopping.

I want colourful plimsols.

I want a polka-dotted lacey umbrella.

I want to make merry.

It was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini, that she wore for the first time today!

I love you! Read this and don't feel so bored ok.

I know you're really really bored.

2008-10-31T22:31:00.005+08:00

it feels like ruin♥

The battle of the heart and emotions.
There was so much to feel, so much to say.
But nothing managed to make its way out of the red pouty thing.
I'm too selfish, I don't want to share you with anybody else.

So much distress.
I hate this feeling.

2008-10-30T23:59:00.002+08:00

don't you try being nasty to me♥

You know, I will never allow myself to lose.
Yes, this weird stubbornness.
Refusing to budge.

Legalism.
A heavy word for 8 letters.
Legalism can tire people out so much. And it comes to a point where you just sink into fatigue chronically.
Do it with a willing heart, cause that's all which is required of you to make things work out reeeeeally fine.
In the name of Agape.

You.
If you were trying to bring me down yet again in front of the others, I'm sorry you failed.
Ladeedum.
I'll ask my Mommy to throw pots and pans at you!
Smack that.

I want forever.
Check this darling♥♥♥

2008-10-30T00:35:00.003+08:00

Amy Winehouse is like scarily thin. Look up there!
Horribly skinny.

Hmmm, speaking of my all-time favourite.
On the eating front, the Swiss are the world's top consumers when it comes to chocolate.
No wonder Swiss-made chocolates taste that fantastic.
The Japanese love dark chocolate.
And one interesting fact of the day as follows:
Belgium's Dominique Persoone, whose Bruges workshop in the Flemish-speaking part of the country has produced chocolates flavoured with cauliflower, basil, dried tomato jam, black olives and even chocolate biscuits encrusted with chicken-skin.

Tomorrow's potluck with the CG.
I hope my stuffed jacket potatoes turns out gooood:D

Assumption kills.
It looks like you don't really care much anymore.
You're too happy with your people.

2008-10-29T14:00:00.002+08:00

keep the film rolling♥

Rolly polly!
I feel like playing polly pocket :D

Alrighteys, I think wanna let it go already.
She's just yet another friend of mine anyway.
And that its someone who can hate me so easily. Hur.
Stop being paranoid, you.
I realised, it doesn't matters as much anymore as it used to.
No more jealousy. Its a girl's thing.

Awwww. So fat, so sad.

How many bars of snickers have I consumed today?
.... I don't know.
Once in a while, my craving for chocolates get totally out of my hands.
Those anti-depressant things are the mega bomb.

I got 3 sponsors for my KL shopping trip!
Making life even more colourful and making me an even happier girl.

Ahhhhhh Siyun, please get us the Sexy Diamond mesh cap.
And our Desaru Trip!
Can we go diving/snorkelling. Heehee.

Eat all you can now.
Cause you'll never know. You may die tomorrow.
Life is too short to stop at any point in time to take a break.

I love you.

2008-10-28T16:18:00.004+08:00

We girls love my cute grandma!

Thank you for standing by me all these while.

I'll never never be alone.

Even if I try to run away, I know you'll run with me and catch me back.